Bird Tribes

A Social Nest for Angels in Human Form

Lauren Colon
  • Female
  • Amarillo, TX
  • United States
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I think all of your poetry is really breathtaking. I've been reading since you asked me to. It's hard for me to find a lot of time! Sorry, hun. *sighs* But I think it's great! Keep up the good work. Hugs and BB, jen :)
December 4
wrote a new poem last night, er actually it's a song... Tomorrow plz read and give input; i woud love to hear some. thanx
October 19
Lauren Colon added a blog post
I was watching the sun rise As we began to fall Learning the secrets of time Wishing it would heed my calls If only I could hear you Inside the whisper of this wind Then perhaps we'd find ourselves Within each other once again But tomorrow didn’t c…
October 19
wrote a new poem last night, er actually it's a song... plz read and give input; i woud love to hear some. thanx
October 19

Profile Information

I understand that this is a sharing and open community, and that the required fields for the below profile questions do indeed require at least a sentence or two of relevant information.
Yes
About Me:
i write poetry that deal with a lot of personal experiences and delves into the dark and painful side of abuse and its affects, the courage, and sheer determination of will and sense of humor my inner child had to muster to get through life some times.
Personal Website:
http://bloodnsorrows.deviantart.com
Offerings (Healing, Art, etc.):
poetry that is honest, raw, insightful bearing familairity and strength for others whom have suffered or may continue to do so
Goals (Personal, Planetary, etc.):
to continue to grow spiritually, socially, mentally and emotionally
Important Teachers:
my 2nd grade teacher Mrs Wolfe who was always caring and who took the time to teach all of her students how to explore the world and express ourselves with confidence and heart. thank you.
my grandpa who always accepted me for who i was. i miss you.
Favorite Books:
i have always enjoyed the vc andrews sagas beginning with flowers in the attic and all the ones prior to her passing. you are greatly missed.
Favorite Music:
anything really so long as it rocks and rocks hard. heehee
 

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Lauren Colon

TOMORROW

I was watching the sun rise
As we began to fall
Learning the secrets of time
Wishing it would heed my calls
If only I could hear you
Inside the whisper of this wind
Then perhaps we'd find ourselves
Within each other once again

But tomorrow didn’t come
(I sit here waiting)
No, tomorrow never comes

I remember yesterday as clearly
As I see your face
But your heart is far too dim now
This love now awkward and out of place
I peer into your eyes
And see only emptiness within its space
And now
Continue

Posted on October 19, 2009 at 3:44pm —

Lauren Colon

CEREBRAL A poem by Lauren C

Solemn, quaint, efficient
Everything I am not
Black tears and heartache
Spans a much farther distance
Than where I am

Right now, this very moment
Blackened view
The pity I will not feel
Shame, destitute, oblique
My passions feigning

Oceans, peaceful, eloquent
Why not me?
Empty, statuesque, beauty
Why fail me before?

Respect, curiosity, resemblance
Now that you bury me... you finally care
Here, not there, not anywhere
The weeds sprout up around me

My grave, for the things I gave
For all
Continue

Posted on September 25, 2009 at 5:48pm — 1 Comment

Lauren Colon

BEAUTIFUL A poem by Lauren C

I just want to be beautiful
Like the young flowers in bloom
Like the sunsets and sunrises
Like the stars and the moon

Not like the tears I cry
Or anything like the pain I hold within
Not like all the dust kicked up
By storms with gusting winds

I just want to be beautiful
Without all the sorrow life brings
Without all the memories of sadness
Or distrust, fear, and hateful things

I want to know all about laughter
To be a part of something so right
Not just a fleeting memory
Lost beyond...

A
Continue

Posted on September 25, 2009 at 5:44pm — 2 Comments

FULL CIRCLE

LIFE is DEATH
DEATH is ART
ART is CREATION
CREATION is LIFE





HIDDEN IN PLAIN SIGHT

I am the you
You always wanted me to be
Through the eyes with no integrity

Through the hearts
Of non knowledgeable pain
Existing in only a small ounce of grain

I am flawless
In a perfect world
One that appreciates non-conformity

I am soothing
To all that listens and hears
To all that came before me

I am right
But never righted
In a world of wrongs

I am a melody
Made silent
You will sing about me in songs

I am remembered
In a tranquil state
Within my un-reality

I am just me
Plain old me
Another of life’s sweet casualties



DAMAGED GOODS

I can feel the haunting of you seep deeply into my pores
Sense the very presence of you, in my dreams
My nostrils reek with the smells of urine and vomit

I begin to gag from the stench
In the very by product of
That which you would rub my nose in
When I was but a small child

You will teach me not to wet the bed
Hold the bile in and do not run
Better not miss the porcelain bowl
Never the porcelain doll

So many high standards, I die this failure of life
A creation not worthy to be spit upon
Damaged goods

No return address, sender up in smoke
Gloriously fading with
Each passing sunset

Hate the creation …Not the creator
Hate the product ...Despise the child

Break me, scorn me, and abuse me
I feel your blame and …
I hate me too!



THE DEPTHS OF A SINGLE WHISPER

The whispers softly blow in my ear
Kill her
Let her be
Kill her
Kill me

The whispers scream loudly in my head
Kill her
Let her be
Kill her
Kill me

The whispers begin to take my heart
Kill her
Let her be
Kill her
Kill me

The whispers are quiet now
No more suicidal yearnings
As they used to whisper my name
I have fallen to their earthy games

Kill her
Let her be
Kill her
Kill me

As I now lay in my grave
Ever so silently
Ever so sweetly
Ever so…dead!



BENEATH THE SKIN

If beauty is in the eye of the beholder
Where exactly do I fit in?
I hold out to the beauty of hope
Even through the tears manifested
By another’s sin

Barely scraping the surface
Grasping to hold onto the appearance
Of all that I present
If only to peer closer then they will see
They shall have my full consent

I hide nothing from no one
Why then do they all run away?
If my strength and beauty
Draws them to me
Why fear this longing to stay?

Washed in the heart of a survivor
This child’s merciful cries within
An epiphany of a dying image
Awaits the release of my true essence

The one who yearns for more
So much more than just a glimpse
All of that which is deeply written
Beneath the skin



YOUR OWN MISTAKES

I feel for you
That you have all these problems
I feel for you
That you have all these faults
I feel for you
That you are only human
That you put up all these walls

It is time you admit the pain
You have drudged on others
Blaming, hating, excusing and hurting
The one that loved you most

I tried to change, even attempted to take my own life
I thought it would make yours better
How hard I really tried

But only after years of abuse did I realize
Nothing I do would ever make me right
Not as long as this sickness controls you from the inside
It is for this very reason
I can no longer allow you to screw with my mind

Still, every once in awhile it seeps inside my head
Every nasty little thing you have ever done or said
I never really had your love
No need in trying to replace it
These are your own mistakes
You need to learn to face them

I love you mom, I always have
Though it seems you were not alone
In this destruction of me, nearly driving me mad
Then forcing me out on my own

But you know, in the finality of things
I am just a diamond in the rough
Yes! I was born out of circumstance
But through it all
I was made both resilient and tough!




THE MAGGOT BREED

Flies buzzing in my brain
Thoughts driving me to the point of insane
But, I should feel no pain

For old wounds heal

Life has slashed my wrists
In anger I clench my fists
In warm oozing blood my ache exists

For soon my heart it will steal

His seed was like a poison
I was made in pure creation
My sufferings of boundless imaginations

My scream quenches some eternal unseen need

The stench of death, of me within
I am God’s eternal sin
Torment weaved into my hair, my skin

My heart is infested with the maggot breed



HUMAN ERROR

I should falter
I should walk on water
I should crawl back into the sand
From which I was born

I should laugh some
I should cry much
I should feel what others feel
But I am untouched

If you knew me
You would hold me
And rock me to a safe place
For me is unknown

But I ask for nothing
No returning to me
All of which I can not have
Or possibly own

For I am sadness
And I am pain
I am the tendon of life
That has been severely strained

For I am human
I am but an echo
Of the words one can not say
Of the love one can not show

For I am but a shadow
Of your heart content
With the fervor of desperation
I should be your silence

Give you independence
I could have dignity
If ever I was real to you
Than alive, I could be

But I am broken
Then am I also a lie?
What am I doing here?
What have I left to survive?

For I am human
I never failed to try
To err is human
Now am I allowed to cry?



ABSORBED

Do not pity me
For no matter how worthless
I might feel now
I will never break
Nor let your pity keep me down
Nor from the shards that rest against
My very soul
That cut me so deep
For it is out of pure spite
That I shall survive
Want to see?



MENTAL DISEASE

I hate calling it an illness
It is far worse than that
It courses through my very being
And I can get none of that back

I awaken in a dream to discover
I have not awakened at all
Try to decipher a voice of reason
But there is no one for me to call

Blame it on traumatic experiences
But, even I am not that sure
It does not explain away all the other stuff
My paranoia steadily runs pure

Intense emotions plague me
Day in and day out
I just try to make myself better
Never knowing what half of me is about

I want to, but I do not trust anyone
I am too ashamed to let someone in
Twisted and gnarled inside, while waiting for
These mental games to begin, once again

I have no control over what my own mind does to me
I am freaked out and running scared
As this mind of mine is against me, won’t you see?
This is why I do not want to be here!

How is discussing all the bad things that happened to me
Supposed to bring about some magic solution?
Will this cause this suicidal lingering to end in me?
Psyche drugs and counseling
Is this your only resolution?

It does not stop this terror in my mind or
Stop my mind from terrorizing my heart
I fear the world’s intentions for me and
It is tearing my whole life apart
Too bad you cannot see inside of me or
You would know how condemned I feel
Enough with your psycho babble bull shit
This mental disease is very real

And it is destroying me piece by piece
I am crawling within my own flesh
To know that suicide will one day be the end of me
Hating my life! Even when I am at my very best

My own mind is like a thief in the night
I wonder how much more of me it will steal
With all these mental disorders and illnesses I have
Compound them together
Then you have a mental disease that cannot be healed

That can be very dangerous for people just like me
With no cure in sight to be found
Making it necessary to kill this disease
Even if the consequences mean that I too
Will be laid into the ground

At least my mind will be still and quiet
A.S., Bi Polar, Depression
No longer causing my heart to pound
Only then can my spirit finally and peacefully …rest!
No longer unsettled by…
Imagined fears, visions or sounds!



METHOD MAN

Streamlining down the Interstate
100 to 120 miles per hour
Slam it into overdrive
Feel the rawness of pure power

As you slip and slide to miss your mark
Feel the pounding rip open your heart
Pull into a cul-de-sac
Zip a reversal from your attack

Climb forty flights of stairs
To your domain
Stick a hot scorching needle
Of warm juices into your veins

Slip back into reality
In and out of sweet pain
Misery the company you sell
To do it all over again

You awaken to a scream
The sound made by your own voice
Lying dead in your lap is the lady of your dreams
You ponder the need to make other choices

Speed is what you crave
To end this nightmare that is your right
But you corner your self in a dead end
Faced with yourself you go back to your life

Messages belay your answering machine
Will the incessant noise never end?
But this is just another day for…
The ever elusive method man



TAKING SHALLOW BREATHS

I am so sorry
But I can not take this anymore
I am not that strong
Besides that, I do not want to be

With being strong
Comes this huge responsibility
I fear that in reality
I do not hold such qualities

Maybe if things would have gotten better
Maybe if I would have improved
In some small way
Maybe if I had known more laughter
Had I not been swallowed whole
By the pain

Perhaps if I could have given back to me
What many say I possess the power
To sharing with the world

Perhaps if I could see some daylight
Behind the walls of this prison
Of dashing hopes within
If only I felt my life worth living
Perhaps if I could just breathe…

Taking in shallow breaths
Heart slowing down
Brain feeling all fuzzy
My view is turning black
My skin blue
Icy to the touch

Maybe if I could have really
Felt and known that I was worthy
Before this decision I made
Before the action I just took…
Then maybe…
…..Just maybe…



WINDOW SILL

I sit here under the window sill
Staring through the glass pane
Beyond the trees I gaze upon the stars
Where memories of you eternally stains

I feel the heat of betrayal within
Tears jerk from eyes in symphonic sounds
Remembrance of your touch burns the skin
In anger my heart rapidly pounds

You have done nothing wrong
For it was destiny that you should leave
Except engage your angels in song
And fly away upon their wings

Still the image of you burns my heart
Agony scourges and clouds the mind
I allowed your love in and now I am torn apart
I sit under this window sill never leaving you behind

Comment Wall (2 comments)

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At 12:33pm on September 15, 2009, Sol said…
Wonderful, Lauren. Thanks so much for being here! Be well and happy, S
At 3:43pm on July 14, 2009, Sol said…
Welcome to Bird Tribes, Lauren! It's wonderful to have you join our nest. Please feel free to make your own nest here very cozy indeed!

We do have some guidelines, specifically some designed to cut down on spamming, that we encourage you to read here. Also, please be aware that posts focusing solely or obviously on network, affiliate or related forms of marketing will be deleted. We do welcome tactful self-promotion, however, especially if you have something uplifting to offer. :-)

On that note ... Bird Tribes is sponsored by the Phoenix Center for Regenetics, facilitating conscious personal mastery as a bio-spiritual healing path through integrated DNA activation. We invite you to peruse our content-rich website and  request your complimentary subscription to DNA Monthly, your FREE online resource for cutting-edge news about who you truly are.

Again, welcome to Bird Tribes. And happy flying!

Blessings,

Sol & Leigh
 
 

Latest Activity

Leigh Check out "Creator, Creation & the State of the World" at http://www.scribd.com/doc/23942570/DNA-Monthly-Vol-4-No-2.
on Friday
Leigh added a blog post
Dear Friend,Please accept our sincere thanks for your support of the Phoenix Center and our well-wishes to you and yours during this holiday season!We have much news to share, but that can wait for another day.For now, know that we feel supremely b…
December 10
Sol Enjoy browsing all of acclaimed author Sol Luckman's books currently available in paperback. http://stores.lulu.com/solluckman
December 10
Bruce Black updated their profile
December 10
Sol Just wrapped up another chapter of Book Two on the Regenetics Method on genetics, epigenetics & meta-genetics. Can't wait to share in 2010!
December 9
ametrine added a video
BOB DEAN at the Project Camelot Awake and Aware Conference, Los Angeles, 19 September 2009. This is another wonderful, heartfelt presentation by the best loved lecturer on the UFO circuit... and again Bob presents and comments on some of the suppres…
December 6
Thanks, Spotting Crow. You're certainly not weird in this nest. :-) The avatar, which is a crow, was designed by an artist friend and isn't linked to any one tradition. You can visit my website, Crow Rising Transformational Media, here. Recently, I'…
December 5
In building a viable community, it is appropriate to honor the "movers and shakers," the truly Rare Birds, that make up our community. This Bird Tribe group is designed to highlight one of our extraordinary Members each month. Join us to learn more!
December 5
Namasteelo Records added a discussion to the group Rare Birds
Big thank you for your love and support! This blog entry includes links to her online community and has a picture of her kombucha! Check her out! http://ouryoga.wordpress.com/2009/04/01/dekombucha-a-drink-for-life/
December 5
Namasteelo Records added a discussion to the group Esoteric Study Group
http://birdtribes.ning.com/forum/topics/can-we-save-the-animals-and To get this group started we need your interaction, but a huge blog has been built to support esoteric research and sharing of healing or difficutl truths about life, living, our s…
December 5
Essentially a study of the ascension sciences, while comparing notes with other teachers: Ashayana Deane, Seth, Ramtha, Enoch, etc. & any relevant material.
December 5
December 5
Namasteelo Records http://www.rainforestrescueinternational.org/whatwedo/index.html We work to protect vulnerable environments through:Ecosystem restoration
December 5
I think all of your poetry is really breathtaking. I've been reading since you asked me to. It's hard for me to find a lot of time! Sorry, hun. *sighs* But I think it's great! Keep up the good work. Hugs and BB, jen :)
December 4
Wish I could go, but unfortunately, it doesn't look like I'll be able to make it! It sounds like a wonderful event, so I hope everyone will enjoy it! Hugs and BB, jen :)
December 4
Jennifer Surdam updated their profile
December 4

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